Astrolabia: Horoscopes for the Vagina
Welcome to Aquarius Season! The sign of the water bearer is a Fixed Air sign, making for an intellectual and innovative time of year. The next few weeks of darkness winter provide the perfect opportunity for us to hunker down and hibernate, and to ponder our current approaches and methods to everything from our daily habits to our love lives. This season can also afford us time and space to consider our self-care, from our mental health regimen to our sexual care routine. The following horoscopes are intended to help guide you and your vagina through the magic carpet ride of Aquarius season, so read for your Sun and/or Rising sign:
Aquarius: Rejuvenate
Happy Solar Season, Blessed Water Carriers! This is the very first New Moon of 2023 and it’s in your sign, Aquarius, which means the time is nigh for you to manifest, manifest, manifest.Mars and Mercury Retrograde in Gemini have been messingwith you since this past October, but now they’ve gone direct, right in time for your birthday. Shake off last year. It’s time to reinvigorate your sex life, as well as your communication methods within relationships and pairings.
Reclaim your yoni’s power by rejuvenating it! The Universal Yoni Steam at Luna Le Vag uses a variety of healing herbs, including comfrey, an anti-bacterial, hydrating cleanser that is said to help with leaving the past behind.
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Pisces: Harmonize
This Aquarius Season, tensions ease for you as you enjoy the break from Mars’ and Mercury’s retrogrades, and things get even sweeter for you when Venus enters your home sign of Pisces on January 26th. The pleasant things in life will come to you with ease, if you dare to speak your heart’s desires.
Harmonize your yoni with a vajacial, which is just what is looks like, a facial for your vagina. The New Moon Vajacial exfoliates, sloughing away the past, and then cleanses and hydrates to restore balance, and prepare for the future.
Aries: Activate
With four of the major planets stationed in air signs, and Jupiter sitting in your home sign of Aries, the time is perfect to hatch a plan and put it into action. The innovative energy of Aquarius feeds the creative and endeavoring spirit of Aries, so now is the time for starting projects and relationships that feed your soul.
Activate your yoni this Aquarius season by activating your sacral chakra in new and innovative ways. Consider working with herbs that warm us: ginger, cinnamon, clove. Or try candle magic, like using this yoni candle which is meant to manifest and harness your power.
Taurus: Relax
The astrology for the first half of this Aquarius season doesn’t play to your strengths, sweet Taurus, where a strong current of heated air sign energy can you leave you feeling anxious and overstimulated. Just know that relief is coming: when Venus enters Pisces on January 27th, you can use the charms of romance to help quell your rattled nerves.
Relax your yoni with baths and steams that focus on reducing pain and inflammation. The Twilight Detoxifying yoni steam uses a mindfully-blended mix that includes soothing herbs like marshmallow root, bitter orange root, and nettle leaf.
Gemini: Harness
Gemini, now that your Mars placement has gone direct, use the airy lift of this Aquarius season to soar high. Whether you’re communicating through conversation, art, or sex, your messages are coming through loud and clear, so use your words to get your needs met. The only thing standing between you and what you want is your expression of desire.
Harness your yoni’s desire by treating it with herb-infused oil, like Yoni Drip, and manifest your intentions as you apply the oil. Prepare your yoni to be the queen of the ball this season, Gemini, so treat her like the royalty she is.
Cancer: Detoxify
With most of the heavens being ruled by air and fire right now, Cancer’s emotional depths might look more like mud puddles. The last few weeks of miscommunication and misfires likely exhausted you, but you learned some important lessons about direct communication. When Venus enters Pisces in late January, you’ll feel the poetry rush back into your veins.
Detoxify your yoni this month and let go of the past. Embrace the new energy of the season with a detoxifying yoni steam like the Twilight package, which gives you meditative time alone with your yoni to shed the past while welcoming the future.
Leo: Shine
Leo, if these past few weeks have felt stifling and strict to you, prepare yourself for the release that Aquarius season is going to provide you. With Mars in Gemini and Venus in Aquarius, that quick-witted air energy is going to light a match on your love life’s fuse. Elevate your sex life, maximize your pleasure, and give generously of that warmth and affection you do so well.
Celebrate your yoni this month by beginning a regimen of Goddess Drip, an herbal routine designed to support vaginal wetness, libido, and health.
Virgo: Release
Virgo, the past few weeks of miscommunication, errors, and delays must have been difficult for you to survive. Now that Mars and Mercury are direct once again, order has returned to our galaxy. It’s time to release the tension that’s been building since late October of last year. Embrace change, forgive past errors (from yourself especially) and find your kindness.
Release your yoni’s tension both physically and spiritually by meditating during a Rejuvenation yoni steam. Inhale the future, exhale the past.
Libra: Connect
With most of our closest planets stationed in fellow Air signs this season, Libra is primed to have a stimulating and active social life over the next few weeks. Your energy emits a bright light that others will seek out and follow through this dark, cold time of year. Thread that light through all of your endeavors, Libra, and you can’t lose.
Connect with your yoni this season by getting up close and personal with it. Apply a stimulating Yoni Drip oil any time you feel the need for a little sparkle in your life.
Scorpio: Rebuild
The lasting effects of the Mars and Mercury Retrogrades may have left your defenses a bit battered, strong Scorpio, and it’s likely that your uncanny radar for dishonesty and disloyalty is feeling extra sensitive, too. It’s time to let go of that energy, now that Mars and Mercury have gone direct. Assess the damage and begin to build anew, stronger than before.
Rebuild your relationship with your yoni by treating her to a Full Moon Vajacial where you can exfoliate and let go of that which no longer serves you, in order to make room for the new.
Sagittarius: Research
With Gemini and Aquarius energy all over the current sky, Sag, prepare yourself for a season of learning, education, and the collection of knowledge, especially as it comes to us from travel and storytelling. Now is a time for connection: enter into new conversations, fall down rabbit holes of research, and expand your horizons.
Research your yoni by learning something new about vaginal health this month! How did your ancestors tend to their health, based on where and when they lived? How do other cultures tend to their vaginal health? There’s a world of knowledge out there for you, Sag.
Capricorn: Rethink
Your zodiac season was a dramatic one this year, Cap, how are you holding up? Has the dust cleared from the little skirmishes and messes that presented themselves at the new year? You did it, sweet Goat, with your steadfastness and strength. Aquarius season asks you to reconsider old methods that you may have turned to recently.
Rethink your yoni this season by trying something entirely new! A yoni steam, a new cleansing oil, a Brazilian sugaring, even a new loofah or mitt: try a new method to upkeep and celebrate your vaginal health.